A Journey 'Home'.

After a particularly difficult week, my mom suggested that I take a break and bring the girls for a drive up to Bathurst for the weekend. This is where I was born, where a lot of my happy childhood memories come from, and where a good portion of my french side of the family still resides. I wasn't really feeling up for the trip knowing that it would be more exhausting than anything (chasing after the two girls the whole time) but I had my matantes to help me out and in the end, I was really happy I went.

It also happened to be 'la Fete des Acadiens' - a big celebration that recognizes Acadian culture and heritage. Everywhere you looked people were dressed in tricolour clothing (based on the Acadian flag) and I just loved the little handmade dresses so many of the little girls were wearing. It's sure tempted me to make a couple for Kaia and Sabine - I even got some perfect fabric for them given to me (free and recycled - love it!). Tons of people also decorate their houses with banners, flags, and other folksy, handmade art all in blue, white and red and at the end of the day, there is a big parade. Well, not really a parade I guess - mostly it consisted of people driving down the main stretch making noise and throwing candy (after which Kaia was quick to exclaim, "this is great!"). For whatever reason, I grew up thinking this was all rather tacky but this time I felt like I was seeing it with new eyes. After being in a marriage where nothing was mutually celebrated it gave me a great feeling to see so many people come together enjoying themselves and one another. I mean, just about every yard was filled with lawn chairs, family and friends. Good times.

Before our drive home the next afternoon we went to Beresford Beach. As a child, we (my family) used to have a cottage out there on the beach and I remember spending lots of time digging for artifacts and collecting shells. The whole beach has really been cleaned up since then -a small boardwalk and park were put in and I was told that there is always live music on Wednesday evenings and Sunday afternoons. I always feel drawn to water and still have dreams of a home and studio on the beach somewhere. The girls really loved it too.

Update

Hello everyone - it's been awhile. Without really intending to, I have taken quite a long break from writing this blog and now just about the whole summer has flown by us. The main reason for this - for anyone who doesn't yet know - is that Daniel and I have separated. Without getting into messy details, I'll just say that these past few months have been very, very sad. It's not really something that I want, and it's definately something I gave my all to avoid these past few years but at the end of the day, it's not only my decision and I'm left with no choice but to accept things as they are. I do believe though, that things happen for a reason and that there is likely some bigger and better plan in the works for me and my girls but the sense of loss I sometimes feel can be completely overwhelming.

The girls are taking the whole transition in stride. If there is one positive thing about all the time Daniel has spent away in the past it's that they are totally used to having him away for long bouts of time and well, so am I, so we'll just keep on as we do. Our day to day life is relatively unchanged and I think that will be the key to making this easier on them, and myself as well. Like I said, it's been sad, but at least not a whole lot is going to change in our lives. I try to be grateful, rather than resentful about that but some days are harder than others...

So here we are, just me and my girls...a new beginning? I can't help but wonder where this path will lead.

A rare photo of the three of us together.